“Hey Sweetums, What’s the plan for the evening?”
“Nothing. Let’s meet for a movie.”
“Sure baby doll. Love you.”
“Love you too, my Superman.”

If you think these are the cheesiest words ever, then look around you to find any couple of this generation and ask them. You might require a book to jot down everything, as the human memory isn’t designed (with of course a few exceptions) to store so many cheesy and sugary words at one go. Let me tell you that I am one of those lucky souls on this planet who has had the opportunity to witness love struck Homo sapiens calling each other with words of their choice. Frankly, I never knew there would be a choice in this category of words also. Pardon me for my ignorance about this issue. Never had the opportunity to say this kind of stuff to anyone till now. Anyway, I am no wizard with these kinds of words. There go all my prospective girl friends who crave to be addressed this way.

If your girl is someone who drowns you with all these words, then you either counter it with that typical sheepish smile indicating your resignation to destiny or drown in the adulation. It’s all about, how you say it and whom you say it to. Flirts around the world would agree with me that these words look awful while flirting with girls if you are a novice at it. It takes great panache and personality to carry off words like these without making them look cheap.

When people struck by cupid use these words, believe me, they do sound good as long as they do not overdo them. Once that happens, then they may look like school children using words they crammed during the day. If you plan to say these just for the heck of it, to satisfy your girl (of course with words!), then say them after arranging suitable defense for yourself. If by chance your non-interest is discovered, then God knows what would hit you where (Ouchh!!!). If your stars are none too pleased with you, then you just may have to face some mob justice as well. And lynching isn’t ruled out. Who knows your girl might have some company. Exaggeration!

It is but natural to call each other with all these names, but have you ever wondered what the legendary lovers used to call their other halves? I do not know whether Romeo called Juliet with such monikers or Devdas called Parvati with any name other than Paro. Imagine Majnu calling Laila, “Cuddle Cake, kya hum shaadi karenge? Or may be Romeo saying to Juliet, “Jaaneman, dil ki rani, shall we elope?” Paro itself was so enough for Devdas to show his love.

It is always good to call your sweetheart with some good, cute names but when it is done too often in public and say after an interval of every 5 minutes, the sweetheart herself/himself might want to say, “For heavens sake, do not fill my heart with too much sweetness? Leave some space for blood.”

Go through a mobile phone contact list and you may have the luck of finding names like Jaan, Love, Pyari, My heart……………………… entered in place of their wife’s or girl friend’s name. That is interesting. Like, the phone is ringing and you ask, “Who is calling?” The answer would be, “My heart is calling.” As far as I know, heart calls only when it has trouble or confusion. Out of the two, which one applies here? Let me leave it to the guy whose heart is calling. After all it is his heart and his blood, arteries and veins.

Sweet or not these names do add spice…umm…sweetness to your life. The worst is that person’s life whose sweetheart likes to be called with all these names and he does not like it. My advice…….run to the nearest lyricist and learn the filmy way of expressing things. Much better, if you could hire someone to tell you what all to say (like in Salman Khan starrer, Jaaneman). Make sure you do not choose your girl’s ex for this job or else you might find yourself becoming an ex.

So dear horny…errr…honey filled sweet readers, I hope you have seen the lighter side of this article (at least tried to, as I have, in writing it). If some of you feel it is insulting, sorry buddies, but you know what? You can actually have a nice evening with your girl and say all those sour and bitter things about me. At least there will be a change of routine.

Yours Always,